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MAY 23,2013 | updated:19:57 PM

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To be a manager

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."

A farmer and Little boy

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "W

William's wife getting forgetful

Being the concerned wife, she convinced him to see a doctor. William was a little worried when the doctor came in. Sensing his patient's nervousness, the first thing the doctor did was to ask what was

Donkey granted his request

One day Donkey was created by God and Said to him, You are a Donkey now, you will be carried havey load on your back from Sun up to Sun down, than you can get good food and eat a lot of best grass than You will be lived 25 years.Than you will be donkey. Donkey replaid like this...Ooooooo God...! 25 years too long...Please give me 15 years only, because I was being carring heay load a lot so I couldn't be carried till 25years God Complained....After God thinks for some time.....!! aaaaaaa finally God granted his request.

Blind Man and His Dog

A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg. He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s

yeh soch kar ruka hua hoo

Pehla gadha: Yaar mein jis dhobi ke ghar kaam karta hoo, vo mujhe bahut marta hai. Doosra gadha: Tu ghar chor kar bhaag kyo nahi jata. Pehla gadha: Kya batau yaar dhobi ki ek bahut koobsurat ladki h

New Words

Rating: 2.5/5 There are over a million words in the English language, but we can always use more. Here are some that wordsmiths contributed to the Merriam-Webster Open Dictionary website: Epiphunny (noun): The moment of sudden revelation when one gets the joke. Nagivator (noun): A bossy person who rides in the passenger seat and gives directions to the driver. Phooey Vuitton (noun): A sub- standard, counterfeit Louis Vuitton product. Wuzband (noun): A former husband.

Renters' Excuses

Rating: 2.0/5 No one likes coughing up rent. But at least these tenants gave landlords creative reasons for avoiding it. "With my daughter's graduation, our new boat, and our trip to Europe this yea

Consulting the Experts

Rating: 2/5 The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. After watching me struggle with it, a student explained that my hard drive had crashed. So I called IT. "Can someone look at my com

New Words

Renters' Excuses

Rating: 2.0/5 No one likes coughing up rent. But at least these tenants gave landlords creative reasons for avoiding it. "With my daughter's graduation, our new boat, and our trip to Europe this yea

Consulting the Experts

Rating: 2/5 The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. After watching me struggle with it, a student explained that my hard drive had crashed. So I called IT. "Can someone look at my com

New Words

Renters' Excuses

Rating: 2.0/5 No one likes coughing up rent. But at least these tenants gave landlords creative reasons for avoiding it. "With my daughter's graduation, our new boat, and our trip to Europe this yea

Consulting the Experts

Rating: 2/5 The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. After watching me struggle with it, a student explained that my hard drive had crashed. So I called IT. "Can someone look at my com

New Words

Consulting the Experts

Rating: 2/5 The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. After watching me struggle with it, a student explained that my hard drive had crashed. So I called IT. "Can someone look at my com

A Dime a Dozen

Rating: 3/5 While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I'm looking for my wife. She has wh

A man was sleeping..

A man was sleeping on his deathbed. The man woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him. He said, "Dear, I have something to confess to you." She said, "No dear, save your energy." He said, "I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you." She said, "I know, I poisoned you."

New Words

Rating: 2.5/5 There are over a million words in the English language, but we can always use more. Here are some that wordsmiths contributed to the Merriam-Webster Open Dictionary website: Epiphunny

A Dime a Dozen

Rating: 3/5 While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I'm looking for my wife. She has wh

New Words

How to Ruin an Interview

Rating: 1.5/5 When you're interviewing for a job, you want to make an impression. Hiring managers report that these people made one—just not the right kind: Applicant hugged hiring manager at the

A Dime a Dozen

Rating: 3/5 While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I'm looking for my wife. She has wh

New Words

How to Ruin an Interview

Rating: 1.5/5 When you're interviewing for a job, you want to make an impression. Hiring managers report that these people made one—just not the right kind: Applicant hugged hiring manager at the

Renters' Excuses

Rating: 2.0/5 No one likes coughing up rent. But at least these tenants gave landlords creative reasons for avoiding it. "With my daughter's graduation, our new boat, and our trip to Europe this yea

Mom... best analyst of her Son mind!

A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiancé, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which the one he wants to marry is. His mother agrees to the game. That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other. At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?' Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.' The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?' 'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.'

Aaj ka love birds..

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinnerwith her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces toher boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make lovefor the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takesa trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacistit’s his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d liketo buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on thefamily pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being hisfirst time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house and meets hisgirlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents,come on in!” The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’sparents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows hishead. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his headdown. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans overand whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.” The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father…

A Love Story..

A Love Story I shall seek and find you. I shall take you to bed and control you. I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan. I will make you beg for mercy. I will exhaust you

A Dime a Dozen

Rating: 3/5 While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I'm looking for my wife. She has wh

Renters' Excuses

Rating: 2.0/5 No one likes coughing up rent. But at least these tenants gave landlords creative reasons for avoiding it. "With my daughter's graduation, our new boat, and our trip to Europe this year, we're a little strapped." "I'm getting real tired of paying this rent every month! You'll have to wait a few more days." "We're a little short right now. But don't worry—we're getting a refund on my wife's tattoo. The artist messed it up, and we're getting back most of the bucks!" "I didn't pay the rent because I'm saving up to move." "It's your fault the check bounced. Why didn't you tell me you were going to run to the bank the very same day!"

Consulting the Experts

Rating: 2/5 The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. After watching me struggle with it, a student explained that my hard drive had crashed. So I called IT. "Can someone look at my com

A Dime a Dozen

Rating: 3/5 While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I'm looking for my wife. She has wh

Anushka proves to be a thorough professional...

Anushka Sharma, the actress who shot in fame with Shah Rukh Khan's 'Rab Ne Banaadi Jodi'... what more could Anushka ask for as her first three films in Yash Raj Productions, not only stood out to be a success, but also earned her the ‘tag’ of ‘versatile’ actress. Anushka is today looking for her maatru… release and to work with Amir Khan in Raj Kumar Iraani’s directorial. As of now, the actress is busy promoting her fourth coming film, maatru… in this regard, it was during the recent award functions, Anushka had to perform an act that demanded lot of stamina… as such, Anushka was suffering with food poisoning and fever. But the actress, who was up for performing to pay a tribute to Late Yash Chopra, did not wanted to lose the opportunity so was courageous enough to perform, irrespective of her ill health… One and all were surprised to see Anushka’s dedication towards work and her commitment…

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